For the past few weeks, I have been in a pressure cooker. The heat has slowly been increasing with each passing day. But I didn’t even realize I had hit the boiling point until yesterday.
That was when I erupted into a blubbering mess. I couldn’t stop crying. No matter what anyone said to me, it seemed to make me cry even more. A simple, “Hi. How are you?” caused me to run into the restroom to hide my tears. It was ugly.
As women, I think most of us have had those moments. We all go through times when the pressure seems to build.
- I have had five baskets of clean laundry sitting in the same spot for a week now. Meanwhile, five more baskets of dirty laundry have accumulated throughout the house.
- I haven’t had time to go to the grocery store so my kids and I have eaten so much fast food it’s not even a treat anymore.
- I have deadlines for my job that are looming over my head.
- I’m feeling totally burned out with home school and rushing to get things done everyday.
- My kids have baseball practice and soccer practice nearly every night of the week.
- It’s all been compounded by the fact I’ve been single momming it for a week. And just when we thought my husband was going to come home, he got stranded by a cancelled flight in one of the last places on earth I would wanted him to be: Japan.
Of course, then there are all of the other pressures, some of which are real and others imagined.
- I need to be a wonderful wife.
- I need to be a better friend.
- I need to be beautiful.
- I need to run a 5K.
- I need to read the Bible in a year.
- I need to read at least 60 of the books on the list of the top 100 books ever written.
- I need to write on my blog.
- I need to take a photo everyday.
- I need to watch American Idol.
- I need to send thank you notes to at least six people.
- I need to pay the bills.
- I need to sign up my kids for activities for the summer.
- I need to plant some flowers.
And if I do all of those things and do them well, then I will feel good about myself. If I can hold it all together, look good, do great work, and have children who are clean and well-mannered, then I will be successful. I will be worth something.
Well, yesterday, I didn’t achieve any of those things. In fact, I failed in every single area, and I was feeling pretty low. I am thankful that in the middle of my ugly cry, a group of friends gathered around me and told me that they loved me for who I am and not what I do. And they reminded me of something very important.
My worth does not depend on any of those things.
I am MORE than all of that.
I am God’s workmanship. (Eph. 2:10) The New Living translation says, I am “God’s masterpiece.” I am created by him, and I am renewed by Christ Jesus. I was bought at a price. Nothing that I have done or ever could do will buy my worth. Nope, I’m not full of value because of all of the great things I do.
even in my worst moments…
because of God’s love for me…
I am more.