I know the minute I write a post about grammar, I am destined to look like an idiot. I’m sure I will overlook grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. I might even make someone mad for being such a snob.
But I have to do it. Each morning when I go on Facebook or Twitter, I can’t help but feel sorry for those without a voice. When I get a text message on my cell phone, I want to speak up for the words that have been condensed into single letters. I have to say something in their defense.
I will shout it from the rooftops!
Can we give the poor apostrophe a break? It is tired, overworked and overused. Why do people believe they need to insert an apostrophe each time they want to make a word plural? A simple s will do! If the word ends in s, x or z, and an es! Believe me, it can be done without adding an apostrophe!
An apostrophe doesn’t make a capital letter more important! Just write CDs or IOUs or PJs. Let the poor apostrophe stay home and make dinner so it will have plenty of energy to do what it is supposed to do.
The apostrophe wants to help with possessives. If, for example, “The boy’s dog ran away,” use it! “The boys’ hats are lost?” Of course, the apostrophe will help! That is the time to put it into action!
It’s also more than happy to jump in and help with a contraction. But please, please, let it do its job. Let it replace the missing letter! “We don’t need any bananas,” you say? Great! But please don’t tell me, “We do’nt have any oranges.”
And that leads me to the homonym. The poor, troubled homonym is about to have a mental breakdown.
Please think of the homonym when delivering bad news. “Their cat ran over there and got hit by a car. They’re going to be sad!”
Think about how the homonym feels when making a difficult decision. “I want to go to the Toby Mac concert with two of my friends, but my brother wants to come, too.” But, please, don’t add an extra o just because you have left a to dangling at the end of a sentence or because, “My mama wants me to-o-o-o-o-o.”
I know this one is tricky. I know it’s hard to remember that it’s time to put the chicken in the crock pot so its juices will run clear in time for dinner. How can this be? “It’s breaking the rules,” you say? Just remember that in this case, the possessive form is willing to go without its apostrophe so its sister, the contraction, can use it instead. It is true. Yes, “it’s true.” How nice.
I hope you have enjoyed this grammar lesson. I know some might say, “U R welcome.” But not me. No! Never! I can’t do it! I will type the full words, and let them live! I will add a comma in a compound sentence! I will type, “You are!” I will do my best to use proper grammar even when it is no longer socially acceptable!
What about you? Will you join my cause?